HEY HI HEY. If you’re wondering where I’ve been…you really shouldn’t. I’ve been here, exactly where you left me. On the couch with my dog y’all.
I’m KIDDING. I’m actually splitting my time equally between the couch and the yoga ball. But you probably didn’t come here for the knowledge of where my ass can be found at any given moment. You’re here to be entertained! Updated! Or at the very least to see how fat I’ve gotten.
I promise not to disappoint.
When we last left off, I was recappin’ the holidays and promising to be a little more consistent in 2016 (LAUGHABLE). To be fair, lots has happened in January. LOTS! Starting with…baby boy’s second shower! Hosted by the gracious, radiant, and over-achieving Wife in Training.
Lindsay arrived at my house early the morning of January 9, and within 15 minutes of her arrival the entire house was decked out in precious baby decor and smelling like cupcakes. And PS – showers located a whopping 20 feet from the nursery = THE GREATEST GIFT OF ALL. I spent the entire day being spoiled rotten, surrounded by all of my favorite friends and family – every last one SO JAZZED to meet this little guy. Me too, y’all, ME TOO!
The very next weekend (busy I tell you!) I was spoiled with yet another shower, hosted by Allison’s sweet mom. This final shower featured some of the sweetest ladies, the cutest onesies, and the most DELECTABLE cupcakes.
And since then? Well, I’ve been gestating. Growing larger by the LITERAL second, and basking in every uneventful moment of this pregnancy. Oh and if bare baby bellies gross you out – scroll on. Or better yet, kiss my ass. Your choice.
I have been so so lucky to have a healthy, easy, and outrageously normal pregnancy. Of course, I’ve got the typical aches and pains associated with carrying a tiny human around inside of you. My skin is a little itchy, my ankles are enormous, and my double chin is shocking, but truthfully I feel good. I feel really good! A whole hell of a lot better than I thought I would at a whopping 38 weeks pregnant.
And seeing as this child could make his appearance any minute now, let’s hop to a more formal bumpdate.
How far along?: 38 weeks on the dot!
Baby Bod: Little boy is the size of…a baby. We haven’t had an ultrasound since 20 weeks (and won’t as long as we both remain healthy) so little man’s height and weight will be a surprise.
Mom Bod: That second trimester IDGAF body confidence I once had has long disappeared. I’m just ready to look like myself again. Wearing tons of black and refusing to have my face featured in any photograph are my current MO.
Moving: Y’ALL. It’s like an entirely new baby has taken over my body. He is moving constantly and has most recently discovered my ribs. Wrong direction, kid. HEAD SOUTH. He also gets the hiccups on a daily basis which is kind of my favorite. Every time he hiccups I feel it low and high because his little foot twitches with each one. There is nothing more precious.
Sleeping: Sleep has been decent. When I sleep, I do feel like I’m sleeping pretty soundly. Of course I’m waking up every hour to pee, but for being so massive, I’m pretty comfortable. I’ve had a few nights where I wasn’t able to go back to sleep for about an hour, but that’s because my offspring thinks that 3am is PARTY TIME. I’m starting to feel really sleepy during the day, so I’m napping anytime I feel like it. Mainly because I work from home and also the internet told me to.
Eating: LITERALLY EVERYTHING. I am hungry all.the.time. It never ever ever ever ends.
Loving: Weekly prenatal appointments. I leave every appointment just giddy with excitement. I love love love the group of midwives I’ve chosen, and I feel like I’m in such good hands. I’m going to cry big fat crocodile tears once I no longer have a reason to see them every few weeks. Also loving weekly chiropractic visits. How do people get through pregnancy without a bomb.com chiropractor? HOW?!
I’m also loving reading this book…for the second time. It’s usually accompanied by lots of baby kicks and a warm cup of my beloved third trimester tea.
Hating: Legitimately I hate my double chin. It makes me want to cry and my biggest fear is that it WILL NOT GO AWAY AFTER THE BABY COMES. Please send emotional support and plastic surgeons if necessary.
Missing: Tequila. And running! And normal non-stretchy, non-maternity clothes.
Symptoms: Oh, the usual. Constant peeing, eating, and random cat naps. Also apparently pregnancy carpal tunnel is a thing. Labor symptoms? Zero.
Other Baby-Related News: Our bags are packed. Car seat has been installed. Clothes are washed. Pediatrician has been chosen. I even managed to throw together a few freezer meals this past weekend.
We’re ready, y’all! Which probably means he won’t be making his appearance until March. Baby, if you’re reading this, Mom and Dad would really prefer February. But it’s whatever. Love you boo.
The nursery is just about complete, and I think I’ll share it tomorrow. We still have yet to order the rocking chair, and there are a few walls I’d like to spruce up, but honestly, he’ll be spending the first few month of his life chillin’ on my chest, so I’m not too worried about it.
I swear I will be back tomorrow with awful iPhone nursery photos, but what else what else? What have I missed? What else do you people want to know?! Tell me in the comments.